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    Boundary Setting

    Learn to set and communicate healthy boundaries using assertive communication

    RootCalm

    RootCalm

    Therapeutic Anger Management • Wellness Programme

    Boundary Setting Worksheet

    Therapeutic worksheet

    www.root-calm.com

    Why this worksheet matters

    Boundaries aren't walls. They're bridges to healthier relationships. Without clear boundaries, resentment builds, anger festers, and burnout follows. This worksheet helps you identify where your boundaries are weak, craft clear boundary statements, and prepare for the pushback that often comes when you start saying "no."

    Types of Boundaries

    Physical

    Personal space, touch, rest needs

    Emotional

    Not absorbing others' emotions, protecting your peace

    Time

    How you spend your time, saying no to overcommitment

    Material

    Lending money, sharing possessions

    Digital

    Response times, social media access, screen limits

    Conversational

    Topics you won't discuss, gossip, criticism

    Map your circle of calm

    Inside the circle: what keeps you steady and regulated. Outside it: the people, habits and demands pressing on the edge. Anything sitting outside is a candidate for a boundary below.

    Outside — pressure on my edges

    Nothing added yet.

    Inside — what keeps me calm

    Nothing added yet.
    Example
    Example Boundary

    Area: Time / Work-life balance

    Current situation: "My boss regularly emails me after hours and expects immediate responses."

    What I need: "Protected evening time to recharge and be present with my family."

    Boundary statement: "I'm available during business hours, 8am-5pm. I'll respond to evening emails the next morning."

    If crossed: "I will not check email after 6pm. I'll silence notifications."

    The Assertive Boundary Formula

    1
    Describe the situation without blame: "When [specific behaviour happens]…"
    2
    Express how it affects you: "I feel [emotion] because [reason]…"
    3
    State your boundary: "I need [specific boundary]…"
    4
    Consequence (if needed): "If [boundary is crossed], I will [action]."

    1
    Boundary

    2
    Boundary

    Boundary-setting reminders

    • "No" is a complete sentence.
    • You can be kind and firm at the same time.
    • Other people's discomfort with your boundary doesn't make it wrong.
    • Boundaries protect your energy; they're an act of self-respect, not selfishness.
    • Start small. Every boundary you set makes the next one easier.

    Sources & further reading

    • Alberti, R. E., & Emmons, M. L. (2017). Your perfect right: Assertiveness and equality in your life and relationships (10th ed.). Impact Publishers.Assertive communication formula used in the boundary statements.
    • Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.Interpersonal effectiveness (DEAR MAN) principles behind the describe–express–state–consequence sequence.
    • Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (2017). Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life (Updated ed.). Zondervan.
    • Deffenbacher, J. L., Oetting, E. R., & DiGiuseppe, R. A. (2002). Principles of empirically supported interventions applied to anger management. The Counseling Psychologist, 30(2), 262–280.Link between unaddressed resentment and chronic anger.

    This worksheet is an original RootCalm adaptation of published, evidence-based methods. It reproduces no third-party worksheet text or layout.

    © 2026 RootCalm · Clinically supervised (HPCSA PS 0064793)