Field guide
The RootCalm Reset Guide
A short in-the-moment field guide. Print it, fold it, keep it in a wallet, car door or desk drawer — somewhere you can reach it while you are still angry.
The 90-second rule
The chemical surge of anger moves through the body in roughly 90 seconds. Everything after that is the story you keep telling yourself. Your only job in those 90 seconds is to not make it worse.
Step 1 · Interrupt (0–30 seconds)
- Say the exit line: “I need a minute. I'll come back to this.”
- Physically change position — stand, step outside, put the phone down.
- Unclench: jaw, fists, shoulders. Anger lives in those three places first.
Step 2 · Breathe (30–90 seconds)
- Physiological sigh: two nose inhales, one long mouth exhale. Five rounds.
- Make the exhale longer than the inhale — that is what lowers the heart rate.
- Cold water on the wrists or face if the surge is still climbing.
Step 3 · Name it
- Say silently: “I am angry, and underneath it I feel ______.” Naming the softer feeling takes the charge out of the louder one.
- Common answers: disrespected · unfairly treated · afraid · ashamed · unheard · exhausted · out of control · let down.
Step 4 · Choose your next sentence
- “I want to get this right, so I need a short break.”
- “When ______ happened, I felt ______. What I need is ______.”
- “Can we come back to this in twenty minutes?”
Step 5 · Close the loop
- Move your body for 5–10 minutes — unspent adrenaline becomes rumination.
- Repair early if you snapped. A short, specific apology beats a long defensive one.
- Log the trigger while it is fresh, then let the day continue.
My personal reset plan
Fill this in now, while you are calm. It saves in this browser only.
If you are ever afraid of what you might do, or someone else is unsafe, stop using this sheet and contact emergency services or a crisis line immediately. In South Africa: SADAG 0800 567 567.
© 2026 RootCalm · The RootCalm Reset Guide · Clinically supervised (HPCSA PS 0064793) · root-calm.com