Safe Target Audit
Map who receives your anger vs. who actually triggers it
RootCalm
Therapeutic Anger Management • Wellness Programme
Safe Target Audit Worksheet
Therapeutic worksheet
www.root-calm.com
Why this worksheet matters
We often direct our anger at the people we feel safest with. Not the people who caused it. This is called displaced aggression. By auditing who receives your anger versus who triggers it, you can interrupt the pattern and protect your most important relationships.
What happened: "Yelled at my husband for leaving dishes in the sink"
Who I snapped at: Husband
Real source: My manager criticised my report in front of the whole team
Real emotion underneath: Shame, feeling incompetent
Why them? "He won't leave me. It feels safe to let go with him."
Impact on them: "He went quiet and slept in the spare room"
Redirect plan: "Journal for 10 mins before engaging. Tell him what happened at work instead."
1Recent Incident
Example
"Next time I feel irritable after work, I'll take a 10-minute walk before engaging. If I notice the urge to snap, I'll say: 'I had a tough day; can I have 15 minutes?'"
2Recent Incident
Example
"Next time I feel irritable after work, I'll take a 10-minute walk before engaging. If I notice the urge to snap, I'll say: 'I had a tough day; can I have 15 minutes?'"
3Recent Incident
Example
"Next time I feel irritable after work, I'll take a 10-minute walk before engaging. If I notice the urge to snap, I'll say: 'I had a tough day; can I have 15 minutes?'"
Reflection: See the Pattern
Next steps
- Try the Art of Apologizing Worksheet to repair with someone you've hurt.
- Use the Trigger Mapping Worksheet to build proactive response plans.
- Explore Anger Archaeology to uncover what's really driving your anger.
- Review this worksheet weekly, patterns become clearer over time.
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